Musk Deer

I was meeting this school friend after close to 30 years…I was excited.

This friend was special , he is the only person outside my family who wishes me birthday as the clock strikes 12. Every birthday , year after year. It didn’t matter if we were in touch rest of the days , he would religiously call me at the appointed hour. My husband who’s my school mate as well, didn’t mind it ever.

Infact this friend would somehow reach out to my husband find out where we would be holidaying on my birthday ( it’s always during fall break) and call me taking into account the time difference. I secretly believed that he never got over the crush he may have had on me during school.

And then few months ago I received a call that he would be visiting singapore and would love to see me…I was more than happy to see him , I was waiting to see him face to face which I hadn’t since he left school in grade 8. I was curious to find out why he remembered my birthday.

We met and what a fabulous time we had . He asked me what I was doing, I laughed and told him that finally I have arrived and that I am a trained counsellor now. I explained how it felt like a calling and I made mid career switch.

He looked at me and laughed , he said what took you so long to figure it out? He said that had I ever brought up this discussion with him he would have told me that this was the path meant for me.

I was struck, …I was like how would you know…we have barely been in touch!

He laughed again, looked at his wife and said ,Monika is the girl who understood me and accepted me when no one else did.

He recalled how when he was new to our class in grade 6 as a flunkie senior no one would sit with him.

Apparently I did.

He shared that I helped him with studies and never made him feel dumb , I motivated him to do better. To put in his best. His performance in academics improved.

As he left school when his father had to transfer out of delhi , he got a new chance in the new city.

He could start all over and has done very well in his life.

He valued that I did not judge him for his failure.

I didn’t remember any of it.

He did

Hence as gratitude he wanted to be the first one to wish me on my birthday.

Some mysteries take a long time to unravel , wish I had shown some curiosity , would have saved me years that I spent finding my path.

I was looking for answers outside, I dabbled in Economics, Fashion & Management. Nothing felt right.

My name Monika means advisor /Counsellor in Latin. I am born on 10th October which is a world mental health day. Yet I took 15 years from graduation to figure out my calling. I did not reflect on my passion – which has always been helping and guiding people around me . I did what everyone was doing. I tried to fit into corporates, judged myself for lacking the drive. Looked for guidance outside while in my heart I knew what I am good at, empathy & compassion have always been my strength even as a child.

With that meeting I learnt one of the most important lessons of my life.

The answers we seek are within us, our truth is a whisper . The loud noise of world outside should not be allowed to drown this faint gps.Get still and follow guidance with trust.

Each one of us has our gifts, like musk deer looking out for the Fragrance …

The deer is so enchanted by its own fragrance, it often roams for miles to discover the source of its own beauty. It looks externally for an answer ,the deer is completely unaware and unappreciative of the truth that resides within , until one such Aha moment with the realisation that it’s been carrying the Kasturi ( musk) within….all along!

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